Why most attempts at behavior change fail

As we come into the new year, many people will reflect and think about goals and intentions that they want to accomplish in 2023. Did you know that nearly 80% of people abandon their resolutions/goals after one month?

Initiating behavior change is hard! The word “hard” is probably a severe understatement. What you truly need is your own buy-in and clarity around what the implications will be if you don’t make the change. What is it costing you to stay the same? This requires a lot of self-reflection and awareness before you even start putting an action plan into place. And also, this takes a lot of effort. Depending on where you get your motivation (intrinsically or extrinsically), you might be able to do this on your own, or you might need external help (a friend, mentor, coach, therapist, external assistance with ADHD, etc.). 

You also need to identify potential obstacles/barriers and how you will overcome these as well as identify an accountability plan and how you will measure success and progress. The ability to be agile and make frequent adjustments to your plan is necessary. 

One of the most important factors that needs to be identified off the bat is what’s getting in your way of achieving this. This might not be something you can answer on your own. Where are you now? Where do you want to be? And what do you know about the gap in between those two things? What have you tried that hasn’t worked? Additionally, we tend to be unrealistic when it comes to how much effort something takes. Then we become frustrated and disappointed; our expectations are too high. Often, we aim for perfection and a lofty goal when we need to see progress around the smaller steps that get us to the big goal. 

Knowledge alone doesn’t create behavior change. In the leadership development context, I hear about some leaders having to sit through brief training presentations on ‘soft skills’ and unfortunately, this falls pretty flat. The knowledge is great – but, they need to learn how to put this into action and have someone neutral and supportive along the way to talk things through – why certain things worked, why others didn’t work, and how they can adjust along the way. 

When you go to set your goals and intentions for next year, keep all of this in mind.