Genuine strengths are amazing things. They are so effortless to us that we often don’t recognize they are even strengths of ours and we overlook how they’re showing up for us.
Strengths spotting is an important tool for leaders as well as individual contributors. It’s especially important for awareness because our strengths can actually be obstacles if they are overused or underused. Additionally, how we behave under stress can shift how a strength is utilized. You can start spotting your strengths by self-reflecting (think of examples of times you were at your best) or by asking others to share when they saw you at your best. You can also utilize a coach to help with this process, especially a coach who is familiar with positive psychology and/or is ICF-credentialed.
The strengths that are our most effortless tend to be overused rather than underused. For example, curiosity is a strength that is very important for current and future leaders. If you’re overusing curiosity, you’re being intrusive (and nosy). If you’re underusing curiosity, you’re disinterested, or you’re being perceived as disinterested. If you’re at the “just right” amount of curiosity, you’re genuinely exploring. Context is important so consider this through the lens of your own examples.
Curiosity: Overuse from a Leader’s Standpoint
Imagine you’re leading a brainstorming session to solve a complex problem. Your natural strength of curiosity drives you to ask probing questions and dive deep into every detail. As the discussion progresses, you find yourself bombarding your team with question after question, sometimes interrupting their flow and overwhelming them with your curiosity. In this scenario, your strength of curiosity might be leaning toward the intrusiveness overuse side because you are hindering rather than facilitating the collaborative process.
Curiosity: Underuse from a Leader’s Standpoint
On the other hand, let’s say you are leading a project meeting, but you remain silent and you barely engage with the discussion or ask any questions. Your lack of curiosity in this meeting leaves your team feeling unsupported and directionless – they might perceive your lack of curiosity as a disinterest in their ideas and progress. Your underuse of curiosity in this case is leading to a disconnect and is diminishing your effectiveness as a leader.
Curiosity: Just Right
A coaching tactic I like to use is to ask clients what they feel is “just right.” In the case of curiosity, it might look like – a balance of actively listening to the team’s input and asking insightful questions to facilitate the discussion forward. This balanced approach requires a high level of awareness, self-regulation, and intention.
Another example of this that is highly relevant to leaders is bravery – if leaders feel insecure in their abilities or are experiencing imposter syndrome, they might feel pressured to put on a confident, brave façade in front of others and pretend as if they have all of the answers; where this might feel like the right thing to do, it can also limit the building of trust by showing vulnerability.
There are times when strengths are at odds with each other. From a leadership standpoint, one example I see all of the time is kindness versus fairness.
Kindness vs Fairness: A Leader’s Perspective
As a leader, it can be difficult to balance these two strengths. Sometimes, I see very kind, empathetic leaders who struggle with holding their employees accountable. For example, chances are high that at some point as a leader, you come across an employee who makes a significant mistake that requires disciplinary action. The leader is torn between being kind and compassionate toward the employee’s intentions and ensuring fairness and consistency and enforcing consequences for the significant mistake. Prioritizing kindness may create a perception of favoritism. Prioritizing fairness may come across as harsh or unsympathetic. I see many leaders struggle with this because they feel they have to choose between the two (and that’s where I come in as a coach to help them understand and navigate these scenarios effectively).
Knowledge and awareness of strengths and when they are underused, overused, at odds, or just right, can improve your leadership effectiveness. Make an effort to identify some of your own strengths and understand how they play out in normal scenarios and also at times when you’re under stress.
