This week, I’m thinking a lot about improving the quality of your one-on-one meetings – from both viewpoints: leader & direct report.
My experience with one-on-ones during my tenure in the finance industry: they didn’t really exist and I didn’t care because I didn’t like my job. My last boss wanted to set-up weekly one-on-ones, except he constantly blew them off and when we had them, he was rushing to get off of the phone. They were never quality talks. His go-to question to kick off the call was only “so how are things going?” It fell flat.
I often hear from clients that they don’t have the chance to squeeze in development topics in their frequent 1:1 meetings because they are more focused on status updates. For that reason, I recommend two different one-on-one meetings: (1) a frequent 1:1 to check-in on work tasks, give status updates, and/or deal with other time-sensitive items, and (2) a separate, less frequent, yet still consistent meeting on the calendar, to specifically discuss development and/or other higher-level topics.
What should be present at both of these meetings: a personal check-in. Welcome and encourage discussion about their whole person. Bonus: schedule separate occasional coffee get-togethers where the only goal is to get to know each other better on a personal level. I’ve suggested this to clients and they report back wonderful outcomes. This especially works well to do right off the bat if you’re a new manager or when you get or inherit new employees. Keep it going to build rapport.
If you’re the direct report, don’t wait around for your boss to initiate setting up these 1:1s. And, hold them accountable to attending. If you’re the leader, take initiative and take these meetings seriously. If the leader wants to cancel, say something like, “Okay. I understand you have something pressing, and these meetings are important to me. When can we reschedule?”
If you as the leader are constantly blowing 1:1s off or asking to reschedule, this paints a picture to your employee that you consistently prioritize things above them, that you can’t manage your time well, and/or that you can’t set proper boundaries with others (i.e.: halting unnecessary fire drills).
What not to do: be surface level, rush the other person out of the meeting, blow them off, constantly reschedule, be distracted during the meetings (put the phone & email away), jump at every small opportunity as a chance to provide feedback.
What to do: give the person your full attention, actively listen (seek to understand), act as a coach, ask powerful questions.
Tips: create an agenda for the meeting and send it in advance of the meeting (can even do this from the direct report end), both of you should bring topics you want to discuss, encourage that both of you take notes, send a summary email after the 1:1 with any follow-ups, action items, or outstanding questions.
The foundation of any good manager and team member relationship is rapport. If your team doesn’t feel like you care about them as an individual, they’re unlikely to be motivated to work hard for you.
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