How males (and females) can support females in the workplace

How males (and females) can better support females in the workplace and in life

Below is a photo depicting some gender mindset differences and some important items on how society teaches women gender norms at a young age. I think that it’s good to understand the situation before we jump into solutions. Frequently, I help my male clients understand how they can be more inclusive and supportive in the workplace.

MEN	WOMEN
More likely to seek out information in their environment that will help advance their goals.	Tend to believe their circumstances are controlled by others.
More likely to be assertive.	Learn early on that others will decide what they are worth and determine what they are offered.
More likely to negotiate.	Wait for good work to be noticed and rewarded. Feel it’s more rewarding if they don’t have to ask for a promotion.
Less vulnerable to negative feedback.	Mindset: tend to think of their income in terms of what they NEED versus what they are WORTH.
Tend to define themselves more in terms of their abilities and accomplishments.	Assertive personal style can be a gender-norm violation for a woman.
Pay less attention to the impact of their actions on the people around them.	Social pressure to be likeable.
	Tend to define themselves in terms of their relationships; strong urge to foster and protect relationships (relationships > personal gain).
	Have learned they must pay more attention than men to the impression they make on others.

How you can better support women in the workplace (and in life):

Understand the differences of how women think & behave and educate others.
Help women speak up. Make sure they have a chance to have their voice be heard. Step back so others can step forward.
In meetings, especially remote meetings – pay attention if a woman is trying to speak but is unable. You can speak up and say “Amber, were you trying to say something?” even if you are not the moderator. This is a great idea to do for everyone.
Initiate the conversation to ask women if they are getting what they want (ask specific questions). Stop it with the vague questions! Asking specific questions will help give women something concrete to respond to.
Be aware of your potential biases and limiting beliefs. If you are a male in a higher-level position – are you unconsciously viewing women’s perspectives as less credible? Are you taking them seriously? Listening to their viewpoints and feedback?
Directly ask women how you can help them succeed / get what they want / be heard.
Call out people who aren’t taking women seriously. Understand that silence is complicity and only perpetuates the cycle.
Understand the aggressive – assertive continuum. If women are being assertive, are you viewing them as being aggressive or bitchy? *Females can view other females as being aggressive when they are being assertive!
Women tend to be competitive with other women in the workplace because there are limited promotion opportunities for their gender.

Resources for additional reading and awareness:

Women Don’t Ask by Linda Babcock

Gender Bias At Work – Why Men Call Forceful Women ‘Hysterical’ and Try to Silence Them (Forbes)

For Women Leaders, Likability & Success Hardly Go Hand-in-Hand (HBR)

Gender Bias at Work: The Assertiveness Double-Bind

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How males (and females) can better support females in the workplace and in life

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