The workplace martyr. We all know who this person is (or maybe it’s lots of people if the organization has created a culture that rewards face time over output/accomplishments). Work martyrs most likely don’t realize how their behavior affects others.
💥 Never takes a lunch break / eats at their desk
💥 Never or rarely use their earned paid time off
💥 If they do use paid time off, they are reachable
💥 First one in the office and last to leave (no matter if they have actual work to do or not)
💥 Even though they have paid time off / sick days, they come to work when they are sick or in treacherous weather (and they make sure everyone knows how hard it was to get in the office)
💥 Replies immediately no matter the time of day or urgency (they make themselves constantly available)
💥 Holds onto tasks instead of delegating or receiving help
💥 Judges others for using their paid time off, taking lunch breaks, maintaining work/life balance, setting boundaries
Real story: I should have known this was a red flag. When I received the job offer for my final full-time employer, I was asking about bonus compensation and the senior leader told me “wink-wink-nudge-nudge — the people who show face time get rewarded in their bonuses. So, come in early and stay past 5pm consistently and you’ll be financially rewarded.” This is NOT the sign of a healthy work environment. Read the above point in thought #1 about how money was not my number one motivator. I wanted a workplace to care about my well-being and value productivity, not butts in chairs.
🚨 (1) 🚨 They tend to make others feel guilty, which is an unnecessary stressor on people. Additionally, stress only disengages and burns out your employees. You want energized, engaged, motivated employees. Disengaged employees are expensive. Gallup estimates that actively disengaged employees cost the U.S. $483 billion to $605 billion each year in lost productivity. You don’t want to pay this if you don’t have to (and you can work to engage employees!).
🚨 (2) 🚨 They create a toxic culture of rewarding butts in chairs over actual output and accomplishments. They judge others for taking time off, for only responding during business hours, or for prioritizing work/life balance. Their non-verbals (eye rolling, sighing, body language) combined with voicing these judgments/opinions to others in the workplace only sparks gossip and negativity.
🚨 (3) 🚨 Their behavior encourages urgency when there’s no need. When everything is urgent, nothing is urgent. Work martyrs want their boss and/or colleagues to know that they are always making themselves available, including during their scheduled time off. They tend to reply quickly no matter the time of day or urgency. This sets a precedent and expectation for others. Non-martyrs are trying to enforce boundaries and martyrs are anxious about showing they’re constantly available. I’ve certainly worked in tandem with people who make themselves constantly available and it negatively affected me — that’s completely opposite of how I intentionally work.
🚨 (4) 🚨 When there’s a work martyr around, non-martyrs often feel as if they aren’t being team players — or are going to be judged for not being team players.
🚨 (5) 🚨 Work martyrs hold onto tasks instead of delegating/training. Whether it’s because they are unwilling to trust others to do it well enough or to their standards or they want to prove their job security, this behavior is highly inefficient, not productive, and disengages others. They tend to not share information and make it difficult for others to cover their work.
Another real story: A different workplace of mine. I was always very intentional about my work/life balance. I was salaried, but also able to get overtime pay for longer hours. When I first started working there, my manager hadn’t even told me what hours I was supposed to work. I had to ask her and she seemed confused by the question — that was a red flag. I didn’t even have enough work to take up 40 hours of my week. About 6 months in, my manager sat me down and told me that she expected me to be available 24/7 and that was the job I signed up for (news to me) and that she expected that without me putting in for overtime hours (that’s illegal). As in, if she sent emails late at night, she wanted a response immediately (even if they weren’t urgent, because trust me — they weren’t urgent). She was a C-Suite Executive and she wanted an environment of martyrs. Yikes.
It’s important to note that their intentions are not always purposefully or consciously negative. The work martyr might not even possess self-awareness to realize why they are exhibiting martyr behavior.
▶️ They could be a workaholic and don’t know how to put boundaries in place.
▶️ They might be avoiding their personal life (or lack thereof). Many people aren’t comfortable with alone time and don’t know how to handle it.
▶️ They might be avoiding negative emotions in other parts of their life.
▶️ They might think asking for help or accepting help makes them seem inept (they might be counterdependent).
▶️ They could be holding onto beliefs or social conditioning such as: work has to be a struggle, putting in long hours will get you ahead, views of what the world should look like, feeling like they need to please everyone, etc.
▶️ Exhibiting non-martyr behavior feels very uncomfortable for them (calling in sick, taking time off, delegating). Discovering the root cause here is crucial; it could be a personal insecurity, lack of confidence or self-esteem, avoidance of something (like perfectionism), or a lack of knowledge of highly-effective behavior.
▶️ They might be on a power trip to feed their ego and get ahead. Only caring about themselves.
▶️ They might have a mental health condition.
▶️ They could really have a desire to feel needed. Being available all the time helps fulfill that desire.
▶️ They might have a severe fear of missing out (FOMO).
▶️ They might be overcompensating for a feeling of imposter syndrome.
▶️ They might be taking on work for others because it’s “easier to do themselves.” (This is also very ineffective, inefficient, and unproductive behavior that isn’t helping anyone).
⚡ Be aware that this behavior exists and understand how it affects others. Identify the martyr behavior on your team.
⚡ Squash the martyr behavior fast! Work to intentionally create an environment where there are clear expectations and clear boundaries.
⚡ Consistently do a “pulse check” with your direct reports and ask them if they are experiencing any of this on the team.
⚡ Clients of mine who are now working remotely often feel the need to show they are working by responding urgently to emails and messages. As the leader, you need to let everyone know that this is not how the team operates. Express that often!
⚡ Encourage your team to turn off their notifications, block off focus time, and use their auto out of office.
⚡ Using paid time off should be mandatory. It’s up to you, the boss, to ensure cross-training, coverage, and communicate the expectation that they fully unplug during the time off.
⚡ Create an organizational wide or team wide after-hours communication policy.
⚡ Set an expectation of response times.
⚡ Develop your leaders and individual contributors so they know how to manage their time, set boundaries, squash gossip, and delegate effectively.
⚡ Openly and frequently share your work style and communication preferences.
⚡ Set realistic workloads for your employees. If one of your employees is consistently working after-hours, there’s a problem here. Figure out why. Are they bad at time management? Do they have too much on their plate? When your employees operate this way, it reflects poorly on you as their leader.
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